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Tai_Style
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Name: Tai
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 7/29/1984
Gender: Male
Occupation: Accounting/Finance
Industry: Business
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/28/2003
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Wow...with a blink of an eye, yet another year has seem to slip past me. We are appoarching 2006 alreadie. It has been four years now since high school. It just amazes me how fast everything went by. It just hit me last night for some reason, i feel like i had just past another stage in my life. I am no longer craving to go and find excitement in my life but yet looking for peace and quiet. Now what i find to be enough excitement for a day is having the hommies come over, chill, talk shit, sometimes sing and drink, and relax. We really dont need to go out and spend money anymore because it feel as just being in the presences of the ones you know will always be there for you no matter what is enough. I was talking to le about it, and what he said is true. Popularity and being known by everyone is stupid. All it brings is haters and unnecessary drama. All that used to matter in high school doesnt matter anymore. I guess as time goes by, the less attention you want to have. Now im starting to think of the goals that i setted for myself in 2005. Working full time and having school was a serious drag but i did it. i fullfill my desires to take off a load on my parents shoulders by being more responsible by paying rent when i can. For my biggest goal of the year was to finish my project 4dr RHD. For i am pleased to say that i am on the finishing stages of my Rinoa. She is quite a beauty. I will post a picture once she comes out of the paint shop. Now after completing these goals i feel as though i am ready for the next set of goals im about to set. This time around the goals are long term instead of a year long goal. The first and most important goal is...i want to retired my parents in the next 10 years. I believe that my parents deserved to relax more. They are starting to get old and i dont want them to work so hard to make our monthly needs. So this is my most important goal for the next ten years. I am going to cut back on working and go to school full-time. I want to finish and get my degree ASAP. No matter what it takes i want to finish in the next 2-3 years. 4 at most. with that in mind my next goal is to pay off my 12K dollar debt within the next few years. As time slowly past by i want to build a saving account with at least 50K in the next 10 years. It may or may not be enough to retired my parents but thats the amount in which i plan to give them to make their lives that much better. The phase and motive for the next decade for me is "Go big or Go home."
hope u guys have enjoy this entry. have a happy new years and ill be seeing u all around. | | |
| just for kicks.
Ok...I am sick of tired of hearing how ALL the ladies be hating on us guys. Well to let you ladies know, us guys arent the way we are because we were borned that way. It because you ladies cant make up your fucken minds on how you want a guy to treat you. ALL ladies say that want a nice guy, but in reality they want a dicked head bastard child. Dont you ladies see yourselves in society. 90% of all girls are in a relationship where the guy is a dick. Hence i said 90% not ALL girls but MOST girls are in a relationship like that. Now since that has been said. Let talk about them nice guys...what does a nice guy get when being nice to a girl. He gets put into this category of "he's too good of a friend, i dont want to mess up the friendship." BULLSHIT that is nothing but BULLSHIT. thats just a god damn excuse for you ladie to NOT get with the nice guy. Yes in a man world, Pussy does make the world go around. but u know what, being a nice guy doesnt get u any pussy. it just gets u a shitload of close girl FRIENDS. Do you think in ur mind that we like to sit there and hear about ur problems with ur fuck up bf. Yes we do thinking that you girls will open ur eyes and see that this relationship isnt going to work out. But NO!!! You girls put urself in a comfort zone believeing that you can CHANGED the motherfucker. Well new flash, that motherfucker isnt going to change unless he WANTS to change. Sure...he's going to tell you "baby, i'll change just for you." but that shit is just to part your leg and once the bang bang is done. he goes back to his old motherfucken self. Than we fall into this loop hole where 1. you get mad 2. he tells you what you wanna hear. 3. makes up and 4. repeat the process. This is what i call "having faith in the relationship" when u know deep down inside ur heart that it isnt going to work out, but you cant leave him. Because u dont want to lose whatever u had with him in the past. but living in the past isnt going to bring u a brighter future. This is why nice guys start to change into them dickhead bf that you girl are with. thus a nice guy doesnt become a dickhead without having a reason to become one. Thus you guy made us this way. Survival of the Fittest, totally true. Do you think a nice guy is going to stay a nice guy when all the dickheads are getting all the good looking girls? NOPE! dont complain with what you made. Because you ladies made us the way we are. | | |
| vending some built up anger:
Ok…that’s it. I have had enough of this bullshit crap…I can’t just sit here and watch anymore. I swear some people are so fucken blinded by their supposedly “LOVE” that they share with someone that they don’t even know what the hell they are doing. Just freaken sitting in a relationship that they KNOW will NOT work out, but still stay in it. Are you fucken stupid? Can’t you see that it’s just messing you up? Causing you pain? Bring you to tears? I guess you are so caught up in your comfort zone that you don’t even have the slightest clue on what’s going on. All you know is, you don’t want to lose that person or you keep telling yourself that this relationship will work out and it hurts me to see when the other person is just brings you to tears. But the more I see it; the more I start to believe that you enjoy being in this pain. You enjoy the feeling of being second, third or even last on that someone’s mind. Do you like that feeling of emptiness inside of you? Waiting for them to call and to receive nothing but disappointment when they don’t call. And when you call them, they have a million excuses in which they didn’t call you? I mean, it isn’t fucken hard to pick up the phone and let that someone know that you are ok or simply calling when you said you would. What is keeping you from getting up and leaving the person? Don’t you understand that no matter what you do or attempt to do isn’t going to change the other person. No matter how hard you try or make yourself believe that they can change, the bottom line is, it isn’t going to happen. Unless they see for themselves, in which I highly doubt that they will change until something drastic happens. The saying “you don’t know what you got till its gone” is totally true. Look at the movie SAW, I mean, you couldn’t appreciate something till it’s totally stripped from you. Out of your sight, not being able to speak to the person, and not know what’s going to happen to them or what they are doing. Than you start to realize how important that someone really means to you.
Im not just saying this out of my ass, I, myself, has felt what it feels to have something totally stripped from you, without a trace, without being able to stay in contact with them or anything. I know how this shit fucken feels. My ex-girlfriend stood up and left me with nothing, I gave up everything to win her back, and in the end. I had nothing. No car, no money, no girl and lost a lot of respect from my friends. But I did gain one thing that the others listed on top couldn’t teach me. She taught me the true meaning of having something/someone. What it really means to cherish what you have. Though what I have gain came with a tremendous price, I lost not only my Girlfriend of 4.5 years but also my closest friend who understood me the best. We haven’t talked to each other in over 2 years, but one day, I will thank her for this (Thank you, Lisa if you ever read this entry) To end this entry, I want to say to everyone that is in a relationship, if you are the one that is doing all the loving in the relationship and is getting nothing back but pain, heartaches and tears. Than I highly recommend you stripped the person of what they have and teach them a fucken lesson. But if you decide to stay in the relationship that you know is impossible to make work than maybe you deserve to be treated like shit. Because that’s all you take yourself as. And as for the other person who is treating your partner like shit, I hope you realize that you got what’s coming to you because you fucken deserves it. But if you succeed in keeping the other person suck on you like glue, than I have nothing more to say…but they deserve being with someone like you. | | |
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So I figure it’s finally time for me to sit down and reflect on my life. I must say a lot has happen in these past few months. I mean some of the wildest things that your mind wouldn’t think that could happen, has happened. I mean this shit is just getting straight crazy around here. So much drama involved in everything, friends who has been friends for 4..5..6 years are going to become enemies. Friendships are going to break, hearts are going to be broken, and what used to be respect for each other is going to be hate for one another. The world of high school friends is slowly going to be nothing but a memory in the back of our minds. Maybe some will carries good memories while others carries bad ones. It just made me wonder about ourselves as humans, I mean, most of us plays the friend role in a friendship. But deep down inside of our soul, we all have out own self-fish needs. A wise man once told me, “The only friendships that people are in, are the ones that benefits them the most.” At first I didn’t want to believe him, but now I understand it clearly. Friends aren’t what they always seem to be. Some things that seem too good to be true usually are. The sweeter the friend, the sweeter the pain. It just amazes me how friendships that last 4-6 years can be broken up by a single girl/guy. I mean, I understand the whole concept of not getting with a hommie ex or even talking to them but shit. That was so high school maturity level. It’s like shit, if you cant make that person happy than why not do yourself and her the favor and break up. Why the fuck are you trying to hold on to something that only causing you pain when deep down inside your heart, you know it isn’t going to work out. On top of that, if you were truly a friend than it wouldn’t matter who she/he gets with, as long as they are happy than what the fuck. Shouldn’t you be happy that she is happy? But I guess that’s just the way it is. I guess it’s natural for a person to remember another person by their flaws. You can be the nicest person in the world and once you do 1 bad thing…its over. That person will now remember you as the one bad deed that you caused upon them and never again will remember any of the good deeds that you have done for them. Its sad but it’s the truth. I don’t know whether it’s the society that we live in or just the fact that we live in the 626, but friends aren’t what they used to be anymore. I’m just glad I was able to find my 4 set friends. As for everyone else, I don’t need any of this unnecessary drama that you bring. Trying to come at me like you are my friend, shit you don’t know the beginning of what being a real friend is. My only words to you are, “Go fuck yourself.”
Another thing that blows my mind is the fact that I see so many insufficient relationships that it just amazes me. I mean literally speaking; they can see the whole relationship isn’t working out and yet they still stay in it. One person is doing all the loving while the other person is just hurting them. And the thing is you can’t even open your mouth with a damn opinion about the matter. Lets say you’re her/his friend, what are your options? You can’t either open your mouth with an opinion and have the chance to be responsible for them breaking up nor you can just sit back and say nothing while your friend is getting their heart broke or played on. Those are your choices…whatever way you decided to choose you will get nothing out of it. I guess I see so many insufficient relationships are because the facts that I am in search of a near perfect relationship myself. Some of you may believe that this isn’t possible, but I know of ONE couple that shares this. Even after 4 years, there is still that strong bond of wanting to see each other and still getting butterflies in their stomach. I’m not going to say who it is but I know this person knows that im talking about him. I have told him so many times. Actually I have told both of them. I personally asked them myself how they keep such a strong relationship with such little drama. And she told me, “well we really work at the relationship, there are times of drama but it’s not something we can’t get by.” Oh wellz…I told myself that I will try my best to stay out of any relationship drama because im tired of being the one called a home wreaker. So handle it yourself and leave me out of it. Anyways this is enough…im out of here. Peace till next time fellows….
Tell me what you guys think...am i right or am i wrong, your input is appreciated! | | |
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well...i want to start off by saying happy new years to everyone that is reading this. Well chinese new year that is. now that thats out of the way onto more important matters.
i have spent the last few days reflecting on my life. Reflecting on everything that has been happening or has happened. Seeing my life as a whole, than breaking it down into parts. I came to a final conclusion of it all.
As a young boy, i was completely a mommy and daddy's son. I did everything i was told to do. I listen and obey what i was told. I guess this is what people called ur innocent years. Than as i started high school, i started to rebell against my parents wishes. I hated my parents for tearing me from my friends. My whole life was revolved around them. We moved to Tennesse/Indiana where i was forced to go. I didnt like it at all. As a matter of fact, i hated it. Than a year after of spending my time there, we got a call from cali saying that my grandmother was very sick. So we as a family picked up and moved back. I was so excited coming back to a place that i called home. When i returned, it seems as though my friends who i really thought were my friends, werent my friends at all. I attended Rosemead instead of West Covina due to my parents wishes for 10th grade. There i met Clint, Hak and Le who are still my friends at this current moment and more importantly i met Lisa. Through the years of high school, i was very immature. Always going out and doing stupid things. For most of my high school years i finally came to realize that i was so much of a lover boy. always chasing after lisa. and finally now i look at my college years. I lost lisa, dropped out of a whole year in college and completely lost in this whole.
I asked clint and hak if they thought that i changed at all. they said that i mature a bit and dont really carry that drama that i did in high school anymore. hak puts it as "you dont get all emotional and crap anymore." i took what they said and really thought about things. i mean deeply thought about things. than i looked at my friends, some i can say changed alot while others i cant. I have seem friends go from pretty boy to a carefree kind of guy while overs still are the same when i first met them. Still at home doing the same thing. Than i look at myself, i cant say that i have changed at all. I still believe that i am the same person that i was in high school. I still carry the same mentally as i did before. THAN finally i thought about my worst fear. and to sum it all up. I want this year to be completely different from how i was. I dont like who i am anymore. I dont want to be always looking for girls to talk to. Or just going out all the damn time with my friends. Its always the same thing over and over again. Im going to be 21 this year and quite frankly im tired of who i am. I chopped off my long time passion of long bangs. i dont want to be involved in so many peoples drama anymore. I dont want to always try to be push myself into peoples lives and trying to be mr. know it all. I dont want to care and get all emotional when something doesnt go my way or how i like it. I always cared so much about what people thought of me. Even though i told them myself that you shouldnt care. And now i want to change my life. I HATE people who say one thing and does another. I always have and always will. I came to realize that i fall into that catagory. Well i dont want to be in it anymore. So as a new year, i would like to start fresh. A new year, a new style, a new life. My goals for the year.
-Lose 15 lbs.
-*Respect and help my parents more
-*Responsibilities
-Get off my lazy ass.
-Work full-time and full-time School
-Dont cause so much drama
-*Be more relax and carefree.
-*Finish Project 4 Dr.
-Pay off all debts!
So how am i going to start those goals. well once i figure out my school schedule, im going to work full time at my family shop. This was it reduces the time that i get to sleep in and force myself to learn responsibilities. Do well in school and get the hell out of PCC. No more sleeping in. No more super late nights of going out. Some may say its too late for me but i believe that everyone has to start somewhere. so im starting NOW!!! | | |
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